Fragility of Life

Al-Fatihah to my dad. May his soul rest in peace and be placed with the chosen ones.

A new dawn for me....new journey, renewed hope and tons of responsibilities.

End with the old ones....start afresh.

Closing this chapter of my life.

Bye-bye blog....farewell old memories. All will be missed but never forgotten.

~ This Is The End Of The Line ~

signing off for good,
ezranz

Happy now....?

"Kalau dah dapat gading bertuah, tanduk tidak berguna lagi...."

Well....adat kehidupan, i guess. Let her be happy with the decisions she made.

Meaningful Quote

"For I never saw true beauty till that nite...."

Romeo & Juliet.

New Ringtone

Just change my ringtone to the song attached. Hehe...probably sharing the same destiny as owner of a record label. :)

Jem Theme Song

The Junction

I'm tired of all this....

Please don't play with my heart anymore....i need my life back.

Let me walk this life alone....uninterrupted

Alhamdulillah.....

First of all, my appreciation to Him for the great gift of life.

This turbulence has been hard for everybody, but at the same time i know that i need to be strong and stay true to the cause. It take me a while to summon my courage and send a rather long sms to Faraesya....yup, decisions has been made and no matter how hard it is, we must move on.

The past weekend also saw me coping with my urge to contact Faraesya in any forms whatsoever. Enough is enough....i need my life back. There are so many things in my list for me to achieve in the next decade....from having a successful business empire, becoming a millionaire, a Datukship plus also to migrate to another country....all are in the cards for me to try and achieve.

And congratulations to Faraesya for walking the next step....be strong and craft a new future in any colour you like since there is no point to turn back and try to re-open the stories of torrid past.

As a gift from me for your determination.....i for the first time ever wishes a life full of happiness to you and your husband. Be tolerate, calm and motivate each other to achieve greater heights. May love fills the lives of both of you and whenever in doubt...remember that this journey of yours is meant to be undertaken by both of you together.....

So, like in any soap-opera or drama....this is where my character will be killed off...:). Goodbye to you Faraesya and let me take this one last bow and thanking you for all the memories over the past decade.

Disappearing in the distance over the horizon....

your's truly
ezranz

Now & Forever

"A lovely song that I sang during last night gig accompanied by my artist on guitar. The lyric does reflect my current mood and i must admit, i really felt connected with this song. Seeing D's teary eyes at the end of my performance is so priceless...."

Whenever I'm weary....from the battles that rage in my head
You make sense of madness....when my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way but still you seam to understand
Now and forever
I will be your man

Sometimes I just hold you....too caught up in me to see
I'm holding a fortune....that heaven has given to me
I'll try to show you each and every way I can
Now and forever
I will be your man

Now I can rest my worries and always be sure
That I won't be alone anymore....
If I'd only known you were there all the time
All this time....

Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand
Now and forever
I will be your man

Now and forever
I will be your man....

The power of a phone call

My mind and my heart was really messed up today. Saw Faraesya's wedding photoshoot on a website....to see her smiling and enjoy their moment as newlyweds does broke my heart into thousand pieces.

It left me dumbfounded....look like she's now living in happiness and enjoying her life. Trully, i'm just a forgotten man...being discarded away....far and far away.....

All of the gloom suddenly lifted with a simple & short phone call from D. Having someone to talk too and share things together does make lots of difference.

End the day today with a smiling face.... :)

dumbfounded

Jiwa berkecemuk...why Faraesya...why?? Why you leave me behind like this...hidup dengan hati yang teramat sengsara

Another nite

Suddenly awaken by the sad dream about myself & faraesya.....why can't we be together???

Really miss faraesya.........:(

Sense of Deja Vu

Yesterday was a rather pleasing day. Went to D's uni and had our lunch at a nice place. Later found a cozy place where I spend the entire afternoon tutoring her maths & stats. Hmm....sense of deja vu.....

But it's ok since it is a nice feeling seeing people succeed in their life.

:(

Teramat merinduimu Faraesya...................... :( :( :( :(

Erti Cinta

Erti Cinta

Termenung ku bercelaru
Memikirkan cinta
Di mana sebenar
Namanya cinta

Tak tertahan hati ini
Bila kau berkata
Sememangnya aku
Menyintaimu....

Mungkin kita tak pernah mengutarakan masalah
Kau dan aku bagai tiada arah
Namun aku percaya kita akan mengatasi
Segalanya hanya untukmu
Ku pasti....

Sama-sama kita kembali
Sama-sama kita binakan
Cinta yang pernah mekar
Untuk engkau dan aku

Sama-sama kita tempuhi
Sama-sama kita rasakan
Apa yang dinamakan
Erti cinta sebenar....

Mungkin kita tak pernah mengutarakan masalah
Kau dan aku bagai tiada arah
Namun aku percaya kita akan mengatasi
Segalanya hanya untukmu
Ku pasti....

Sama-sama kita kembali
Sama-sama kita binakan
Cinta yang pernah mekar
Untuk engkau dan aku

Sama-sama kita tempuhi
Sama-sama kita rasakan
Apa yang dinamakan
Erti cinta sebenar....

Sama-sama kita tempuhi
Sama-sama kita rasakan
Apa yang dinamakan
Erti cinta sebenar....

Cinta sebenar..............

p/s: i cry and cry again tonite.......nothing will ever heal this heart of mine. Trully, i'm not a good enough guy to Faraesya. It hurts me a lot to be in oblivion and deep into this abyss. My heart yearning for her, longing for the love that i put onto the highest pedestal in my life. What else for me to do? I will wait....and continue waiting until she came back into my arms. Dear God, please appease this soul....my love for her is true and nothing will ever changed that. Really miss you Faraesya....really loving you till the end of time. Faraesya....my true love.

.......

"I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it.

Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you....

....you make me happier than I ever thought I could be.

And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way"

Anecdote

Goshh....

I'm not a strong person. Really exhausted with all the crying.......

Missing you in my life, deeply.

Crossroads

2010 is certainly a year where I come across many crossroads. I believe any turn i choose will define me, not only momentarily but in the years to come.

Yes, i did read Faraesya's blog...as a matter of fact, followed it closely. It is depressing to be relegated to an obscure role now, a role which i don't intend to continue for any time longer.

I don't want to be a hindrance in her life anymore, a third person that rocks somebody's boat. I had my fair share of disappointment, anguish and broken heart. I guess i'm through with that...please stop hurting me anymore.

I don't want to run away from her...but i guess by keeping some distance, i'll let me heal myself and help me focusing on facing the next set of challenges. It's been really hard for me thus far...especially after realising that all my sacrifice and tears just meant nothing. In truth, I hit rock bottom.

So please...don't rub anymore salt into this wound, i'm hurting enough as it is. I'm sorry.

To my dearest D....thank you for your patience, understanding and unconditional love throughout this entire ordeal of mine. I hurt you a lot with my antics related to what I faced, but thank God that you are always beside me through thick and thin. I know that nothing concrete, there are still long way for us to go...but your presence did bring back some lights to my life.

May Faraesya's have a wonderful life ahead with her chosen one. As for you D, i'll cherished our moment together...may we take the journey together in a married bliss.

Showcase @ Serambi

Just finished organizing a showcase for our artist, Damien at Cafe Serambi, Kota Damansara.

1) Song selection @ WG's Pad




















2) Performing @ Serambi




















3) In deep thoughts & emotions















4) Rendition of a song done by our mate in US















An hour-set with 8 songs, nice start. Thoroughly enjoyed the show. :)

My own little Piccadilly....:)

And yes, we are alive and kicking...for sure we will nurture our own little baby with all the love and joy that we can muster....insyaAllah.

Time for a few pics of WG's Pad:


1) Front Porch





















2) Wickered Balls @ The Porch





















3) Discussion Area (Left)
















4) Discussion Area (Right)





















5) Directors' Box

















6) Meeting Room & Storage

















7) Passageway to Food...:)

















What a feeling...:) Now for the real work to begin. Had our eventful golf tournament last weekend, doa selamat this coming weekend, international football tournament next week and already signed an up-coming and talented artiste (singer/songwriter) under our label. Certainly more to come...:)

All of this may not be possible without the love & morale support of my dearest D....love you very much baby!!

Is it....?

Tidak Mungkin Kerna Sayang

Setiba di persimpangan
Langkah kita tak lagi sehaluan
Bermula di saat itu
Tidak senada irama dan lagu

Begitu hidup ini
Tiada yang abadi
Yang patah tumbuh
Yang hilang berganti....

Kau telah jauh, jauh dariku
Tiada ruang di hati buatmu
Namun harusku akui
Ada ketika di minda kau menjelma kembali....

Sekali sekala ada
Ada rindu yang datang tiba-tiba
Tak mungkin kerana sayang
Cuma terganggu oleh perasaan

Begitu hidup ini
Tiada yang abadi
Yang patah tumbuh
Yang hilang berganti....

Kau telah jauh, jauh dariku
Tiada ruang di hati buatmu
Namun harusku akui
Ada ketika di minda kau menjelma kembali....

Begitu hidup ini
Tiada yang abadi
Yang patah tumbuh
Yang hilang berganti....

Kau telah jauh, jauh dariku
Tiada ruang di hati buatmu
Namun harusku akui
Ada ketika di minda kau menjelma kembali....

Tak mungkin kerana sayang
Hanya kadang-kala aku terkenang....

In Pain....Absolute Pain

This loneliness is really sucks....

Empty promises.....far away from happiness

All these nightmares really hurting me....

And the word "bahagia" just meant nothing to me.

Window and door

When a door closes....another window opens.

That's how the old saying goes

Strumming the chords alone....

Is there anymore meaning to my life after all of this.....??

I'm so stupid....such a loser....a complete failure.....

No more happiness....no more sun shining in my life,

I'm falling into the oblivion of darkness forever....

No smiles, no laughter and certainly no opportunity to taste the sweet fragrance of love.

~~~~please God....give me strength~~~~

Letting go...???

Entahlah....i need to do something for ketenangan minda.

Sad + angry + mad + dejected + frustrated.....hmm, i know this day would come.

Close my eyes....take a deep breath....

Need to tip-toe past this turbulence.

Trust and love

Trust ~ a price-less commodity that can be discarded at any time

Love ~ a four-letter word that brings pain and suffering to mankind.

.....and so i thought!

.....walking by myself, with myself...alone!

The end as I know it....?

Is this the end?

Discarded by Faraesya after all this years??

As if my love meant nothing to her??

Dear God, give me strength.....

For her

"Kasih....dengarlah hatiku berkata
Aku cinta kepada dirimu sayang......
Kasih....percayalah kepada diriku
Hidup mati ku hanya untukmu....."

Adieu....!

And so...the swansong.

After all these years...holding on to the relationship that i believed in....putting my life into it....she has decided to take the journey with someone's else.

Like an old saying...."one man's lost, is another man's gain".

I guess it's time for me to bade farewell....

Memories are kept but the wound will never heal.

Thanks Faraesya for the lesson in life and for all the knocks and bruises suffered throughout all these years.

So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, good-bye......


~ ezranz ~

(6 March.....and a new chapter awaits)

2010...an odyssey for a lasting Legacy.

There are reasons why i haven't write about 2010 or the silence-ness on my whereabouts over the past few weeks. Not that i'm running away from Faraesya or busy with work...but i'm trying to find that inner peace, a solitude that will assist me in creating my path for this new decade.

As is turned out...2000's was not a great decade for me. In short, i classified it as a failure altogether. I face so many failed dreams....love, life, career...just name it. By the end of 2009, i felt that i worked so hard for other people without getting anything in return...i felt miserable, dejected and the most painful of all....lonely because i'm out of love.

16 Dec 2009: I made a bold decision to quit my job. I need a clean break for me to faced this new decade. It was not that easy but day by day, my plan is taking its shape.

And with that, i ride the challenges that await me in 2010 and beyond. Now, as a CEO of my fledgling company...we worked, we planned and we execute in order to reach the goals that we set.

I felt sorry for not taking nor inviting Faraesya in this journey of mine....no matter how hard i wanted her to be in. I know she does not belong to me anymore and probably looking forward for the next chapter in her life without me. I resigned to the fact that I can only love her from a far and be without any reciprocation what so ever.

Of all the failures....my love with Faraesya was and still the hardest blow in my life.

I love her still but will she changed her mind for me....i really doubt so.

Love you Faraesya, forever and always.......

:(

Jerat & Flying Without Wings

By The Impromptu:

Jerat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eC17pyt-kY&feature=channel

Flying Without Wings: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZnnajpxats&feature=channel

Kasih & Always

Videos of The Impromptu's performance:

Kasih: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz_nkRSf-a0

Always: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okX_igacd5g&feature=channel

Kasih

Kasih by Hetty Koes Endang

Notes: i played percussion for this song during my mates wedding...really nice song with deep lyrics.

Malam ini kasih teringat aku padamu
Seakan kau hadir di sisi menemaniku
Ku yakin kan diri agar tiada sepi
Ku lewat kau hadir di dalam mimpi ku....

Seandainya mungkin ku mampu terbang ke awan
Detik ini juga ku akan melayang ke sana
Kan ku bawa pulang dirimu yang selalu ku sayang
Bersama berdua kita bahagia....

Kasih....dengarlah hatiku berkata
Aku cinta kepada dirimu sayang
Kasih....percayalah kepada diriku
Hidup matiku hanya untuk mu....

Malam ini kasih teringat aku padamu
Seakan kau hadir di sisi menemaniku
Ku yakin kan diri agar tiada sepi
Ku lewat kau hadir di dalam mimpi ku....

Seandainya mungkin ku mampu terbang ke awan
Detik ini juga ku akan melayang ke sana
Kan ku bawa pulang dirimu yang selalu ku sayang
Bersama berdua kita bahagia....

Kasih....dengarlah hatiku berkata
Aku cinta kepada dirimu sayang
Kasih....percayalah kepada diriku
Hidup matiku hanya untuk mu....