It has been quite some time since my rship with Faraesya wither like leaves during fall. I'm heartbroken, distraught and loss the sense of direction to keep on living....
Yeah, i know that time heals all wounds....but does true love can easily be replaced? Even now, I still & always remember her. Even bored my friends to death since I always mentioning about her on almost daily basis.
There are people who want me to keep on moving....but I found it really difficult to do so. Numerous blind dates were set up for me, but I always found it hard to move to another stage and forget Faraesya....
I rarely travel outside now. Seeing couples happily with each other and very much in love....give lump in my throat and a big thud on my chest...to a point of nervous breakdown and close to crying....
I do love Faraesya will all my heart and giving my absolute best to make the rship works especially with all the hurdles that are in place. I'm still couldn't understand why after all the effort I put in....she walked away from me and from this life. I'm puzzles, clueless and ashamed of myself.....do i ever be good enough to be loved?
No matter how slim the chance....or how crazy my friends say I were, I'm still holding on to the love that I had and felt with Faraesya. I know that I'm might end up single and lonely for the rest of my life....but what choice do I have?
Being suddenly awake in the middle of the nite after dreaming about Faraesya....suddenly crying when the memories about her came pouring to my mind...and yet, I felt that she is running further and further away from me.
I have taken a vow on myself to love Faraesya forever....and I know that I couldn't love somebody else as I love her......
This is my story....my sad story in love.
Loving you Faraesya.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Go ye olde Magpies!
The club song of my favourite footie club (aussie rules by the way).
Good old Collingwood forever,
we know how to play the game.
Side by side we stick together,
to uphold The Magpies name.
Hear (see) the barrackers a shouting,
as all barrackers should,
Oh, the premiership's a cakewalk
For the good old Collingwood.
Been a part of that 95,000 fans in MCG during 2002's Semi Final was simply awesome. Oh yeah, we are going great guns again this year, now third in the standing with 2 games to go.
Go Pies!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Rambling....grrrr
It has continued buggering me for quite some time now. I really should find a new job now. 3 years....3 different projects...same result. The bottom line is that the company has no money to spare for "low ranking" development. Left me disgusted. All the pain and effort in developing various Concept Proposals for all the projects came to nought.
What I need is a success story before I embarked to the next chapter of my life. With the current situation, hope is fading away...fast. Somewhat like a thousand tonnes of stone being thrown into the sea.
"3 tahun sini, my projek jgn kater naik, satu paku pun belum diketuk"...so many times I said this statement to the top management. Damn!!!!
New job...new job...where are thou?
What I need is a success story before I embarked to the next chapter of my life. With the current situation, hope is fading away...fast. Somewhat like a thousand tonnes of stone being thrown into the sea.
"3 tahun sini, my projek jgn kater naik, satu paku pun belum diketuk"...so many times I said this statement to the top management. Damn!!!!
New job...new job...where are thou?
My Journey to the Destination.
Pergi Tak Kembali
Setiap insan pasti merasa
Saat perpisahan terakhir
Dunia yang fana akan ditinggalkan
Hanya amalan yang dibawa
Terdengar sayup surah dibaca
Sayunya alunan suara
Cemas di dada...lemah tak bermaya
Terbuka hijab di depan mata
Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya??
Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana
Sekujur badan berselimut putih
Rebah bersemadi sendiri
Mengharap kasih anak dan isteri
Apa mungkin pahala dikirim
Terbaring sempit seluas pusara
Soal-bicara terus bermula
Sesal dan insaf tak berguna lagi
Hancurlah jasad dimamah bumi
Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi
Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya??
Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi
Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana
~ Oh Lord, give me the guidance for my life to be on the righteous path and strength for me to follow your sermon....... Amen.
Setiap insan pasti merasa
Saat perpisahan terakhir
Dunia yang fana akan ditinggalkan
Hanya amalan yang dibawa
Terdengar sayup surah dibaca
Sayunya alunan suara
Cemas di dada...lemah tak bermaya
Terbuka hijab di depan mata
Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya??
Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana
Sekujur badan berselimut putih
Rebah bersemadi sendiri
Mengharap kasih anak dan isteri
Apa mungkin pahala dikirim
Terbaring sempit seluas pusara
Soal-bicara terus bermula
Sesal dan insaf tak berguna lagi
Hancurlah jasad dimamah bumi
Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi
Selamat tinggal pada semua
Berpisah kita selamanya
Kita tak sama nasib di sana
Baikkah atau sebaliknya??
Berpisah sudah segalanya
Yang tinggal hanyalah kenangan
Diiring doa dan air mata
Yang pergi takkan kembali lagi
Amalan dan takwa jadi bekalan
Sejahtera bahagia pulang...ke sana
~ Oh Lord, give me the guidance for my life to be on the righteous path and strength for me to follow your sermon....... Amen.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Live...love...lust... (self-glorified)
As i sit here listening to a bunch of songs by artists such as Noisettes and Lenka....i do feel like my world is just an empty space after all.
Had difficulties sleeping last nite, woke up around 3.30 a.m. and just blankly stare the tv....ahh, the Pandora's box of idiosyncrasy. Surprisingly, an old re-run of CSI that featured my beloved Natalie Davis (yup...the miniature killer) did help to cheer up my mood somewhat.
9 days of seductive seclusion did give me ample time to think about my journey so far and where i'm heading. To put it simply, my life is a mess. Like the "Flying Dutchman" without it's captain... or a pirate lord without his most valuable pieces of 8.
So...the main question...should i do it? Depending on the severity of the situation and the things that i already lose out...life, love, lust (and anything in between)....i guess i should. What's the point of being loyal without reaping any rewards or benefits?
It's never in my attention to be used as pawn on other people's chess board. Rather....i like to own the chess board and have...at least a kingdom of my own.
Had difficulties sleeping last nite, woke up around 3.30 a.m. and just blankly stare the tv....ahh, the Pandora's box of idiosyncrasy. Surprisingly, an old re-run of CSI that featured my beloved Natalie Davis (yup...the miniature killer) did help to cheer up my mood somewhat.
9 days of seductive seclusion did give me ample time to think about my journey so far and where i'm heading. To put it simply, my life is a mess. Like the "Flying Dutchman" without it's captain... or a pirate lord without his most valuable pieces of 8.
So...the main question...should i do it? Depending on the severity of the situation and the things that i already lose out...life, love, lust (and anything in between)....i guess i should. What's the point of being loyal without reaping any rewards or benefits?
It's never in my attention to be used as pawn on other people's chess board. Rather....i like to own the chess board and have...at least a kingdom of my own.
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