It's almost 9.30 am and I just finished giving a presentation to a group of investors at the Lion City. Retreat back to my room for a while to catch a wink or two...goshhh, i guess that i only had 1/2 hour of sleep last nite.
First of all, congratulations to Faraesya in getting an offer to study abroad...well, details are as sketchy as the nite sky (at least for me)....perhaps the "distance" make me the last person to know anything in details.
Yeah, that's the story of my life so far....commit everything and end up with nothing. Not that I'm complaining though.....
Saw in Faraesya's blog....some interesting anecdotes about her marriage plan...guess that I'm now just a distance memory ready to be discarded when the time comes.
Hmm...that's life. Cruel, isn't it? I don't really know. And i don't really know for certain why I couldn't stop loving her up until now. Maybe the notion of "true love is only once" is perfectly spot on. I couldn't move on because i still very much in love with Faraesya and always feels her presence beside me at every moment.
Now I'm back to square one, the same old person 10 years ago. Alone, dejected and unable to love....except this time around, i feel that it will be impossible for me to fall in love again like i did (and still do) with Faraesya.
So, what now? Its hard to move on, and i guess there is only a minuscule of chance she will ever accept me again. Suicide perhaps? Contemplating... :/
Rain or shine, day or nite....i will patiently wait for Faraesya even if it means that i will need to wait for my whole life....!
Clueless....clueless...clueless. At the end of the day, some other guy reap the benefits and I'm left to stare at this blank wall of my flimsy heart.
~ An ode to the unsound mind ~
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
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